A Whole Winter Later
by GrimmjowIsMySexToy
Summary: Soul Society and Hueco Mundo are friends now. Aizen decides to move to the world of the living and his Espada children are coming too! Ulquihime vs Ichihime. Possible GrimmjowxYourichi. Rated for language. Extreme OOC. You are warned.
1. Chicken Wings

**Summary: Idk just some random crap again. Ulquihime. Ichihime. Ulquiorra is living in the world of the living and stuff. GrimmjowxYourichi? Haha no jk. Or am I? Read to find out.**

**Rated T for language. Sorry if it offends you or whatever.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Bleach or the characters or anything else Bleach. All that uncraptastic stuff belongs to Tite Kubo.

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"Why do we have to move here?" Szayel whined placing his hand on his hip. Zommari looked at the 25 bedroom house with 14 ½ bathrooms and it was just so freakin big. He looked back at Szayel.

"Boy chu is crazy. Dis house is da shiznits!"

Szayel pursed his lips. "It's too….small. Well compared to Las Noches."

"Szayel it was the biggest place in this ghetto mess called Karakura Town, so hush on up!" Aizen snapped.

"Yes sir."

"Quit bein a goddamned faggot!" Grimmjow shouted pushing Szayel the fuck out of his way. Grimmjow walked into the ridiculously large mansion and ran up to his room. After just 2 flights of stairs he was out of breath. "What the fuck's wrong? Oh…yeah. This half-assed gigai." He said to himself huffing to his room. He landed on his king-sized bed and threw all his shit in the corner. He'd make the ugly ass maid unpack his crap. He had important things to do.

"Maid!" A really fugly thing ran in wearing a maid's uniform.

"Yes?"

"Unpack it."

"Um…what?"

"What?"

"Uh…"

"Bitch, that!" He pointed to his bags.

"Oh yes sir right away!"

Grimmjow dug through his Spiderman back pack and pulled out an old dusty game boy advance.

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**Later That Day:**

Ulquiorra looked to the left then slowly to the right. He looked behind him. The coast was absolutely clear. He stood up and walked over to his CD player. He pressed the power button and _You're a Jerk_ by New Boys started playing. Ulquiorra started jerking like he was born to be a jerker.

"White boy can dance!" Yami shouted.

Ulquiorra quickly stopped and changed the song to _Welcome Home_ by Coheed and Cambria.

"What incredulous things are you speaking of now, Yami?" Ulquiorra asked gaining his composure. _'How could I get caught? I was oh so very careful,' _he thought.

"Naw lil white homes. Don't you play that shit wit me? I saw you jerkin'." Yami crossed his arms.

"Jerkin'?" Zommari ran in the living room. "Puh-lease that white thang can't dance for shit!"

Ulquiorra scoffed. "I don't have time for this absurdness." Ulquiorra quickly walked away, cursing himself for getting caught. He opened the door and felt a strange sensation take over his whole body. He didn't know what it was but it made him shiver and his teeth chattered wildly. He was cold.

"Ulquiorra!" A female's voice that was rarely heard called out. Ulquiorra snapped his head towards the voice. He had a secret crazy crush on Halibel.

"Um, yes?"

"Aizen said to put on this…coat," she said handing him a strange monstrosity of feathers and other strange material. Ulquiorra slid on the coat and was instantly warm.

"Ah… that's much better. Thank you very much."

She nodded and quickly walked away. Ulquiorra walked on the strange slab of concrete humans called a sidewalk. He was sure not to step on any cracks. Stark told him that if he were to do so, he'd break Aizen's back. Ulquiorra was so scared. It seemed as if everything in the humans' world was dangerous. Every single thing…

Ulquiorra felt something slam into him and next thing he knows he's laying on the ground. _'Was I hit by a so called truck?'_ He questioned himself. He had no idea what had happened but he knew his nose was in serious pain.

"Uh, omigod Ulquiorra!" A familiar but not so pleasant voice cried out. "Are you okay? I'm so so sorry."

Ulquiorra looked up and saw it was Woman. The one they had captured about last year, before the treaty had been made between Aizen and Yamamoto. Ulquiorra didn't know and never did know her name, so he just referred to her as Woman.

"Yes Woman, I am fine but my nose…it gives me pain."

"It's bleeding Ulquiorra!" Orihime stared at the spots of red on his coat and sidewalk.

"Huh is that so? I must've bumped it on the _sidewalk._ There are so many dangers in this world."

"Yes there are! There are 270 murders a day, 1872 rapes a day, and aggravated assault, battery, arson, burglary, embezzlement, grand theft, treason, espionage, racketeering, drive by shootings, robbery, kidnapping and fraud happen every single day in the world!"

Ulquiorra's jaw dropped and eyes widened with horror and disbelief. He thought the world of the living was a happy and peaceful place. He'd rather live in Hueco Mundo over this hell! By the way Woman always acted he thought this place was great. How could she be so happy living in a world like this.

"Intriguing," he stated blandly.

"Ah well I better get back home. I don't wanna catch cold. See ya, Ulquiorra!" She called over her shoulder. "Hey wait!"

"Hm?"

"What are you doing here anyways?"

"Aizen has decided that we all should live here now. He believes it is less stressful here on Earth than in Hueco Mundo. But from what you have told me I now doubt that theory."

"Oh Ulquiorra it's not that bad!"

"Oh but it is. If those horrid things happen every single day then how are we to know that it will not happen to us?"

"Well…," she thought for a moment. "You don't know. No one does, but it's better to live your life to the fullest than live in fear."

'_Better safe then sorry,'_ he thought about saying this aloud but he didn't want Woman to catch this cold she spoke of. "I suppose you're right. I will see you soon Woman."

"Bye Ulquiorra!" she called as she happily skipped away.

As Ulquiorra walked home he felt a strange stillness in the air. It was strange yet peaceful. The clouds were so still and quiet. It felt as if something magical were about to happen. Something magical indeed.

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**So that's the first chapter. It's short I know but I'm getting sleepy lol. I just kinda wrote whatever as I went so it's kinda boring, but I promise it'll get exciting soon. Tell me what you think and all that shet.**


	2. The Sky's Falling!

**Ok I warn you this story is very very OOC. It's random and stuff and it's not supposed to make any sense at all so don't expect it to. I might write a serious story one day but for now it is OOC. So ba-bam.**

**I don't own Bleach because if I did Hinamori woulda died and so would Rukia. And less Arrancar woulda died.**

Ulquiorra's eyes widened as he looked out the window. Strange white flakes were falling and covering the ground. Ulquiorra stood up and ran to Aizen's room.

"Aizen-sama! Aizen-sama!"

"What is it, Ulquiorra? You see I'm about to get in the hot tub and take my daily soak!" Aizen yelled angrily. Ulquiorra's cheeks turned bright red at the sight of Aizen in a leopard print Speedo.

"U-um I believe the sky is falling."

"What!?! The sky is falling?" Aizen squealed.

"Yes look outside." Aizen ran to the window and bent over to look out. Ulquiorra could see his butt cheeks. "Omigod! Tousen! Gin! Come quick! Call on an emergency evacuation! The sky is falling!"

"_Attention all Espada," _Tousen's voice was heard over the intercom. _"Please do not panic but…THE SKY IS FALLING!!! CODE RED! CODE RED!"_

Everyone in the large mansion started screaming and running like crazy. Yami's fat ass hit a table knocking over a lit candle. The candle fell on Aizen's pet tree, Billy. Billy burst into flames.

"Omigod! Billy!!" Aizen shrieked.

"Aizen calm down! It's just a tree!" Gin yelled.

"It's not just a tree it's Billy! I've had him for 15 years! I can't just let him burn!"

"Aizen-sama you're on fire," Ulquiorra stated calmly.

"Why thank you Ulquiorra but this is no time for sexy compliments."

"NO!" Gin yelled. "YER REALLY ON FIRE!"

"Ahhhh! What do I do, what do I do, what I dooooooooooooooooooo?" Aizen started to sob.

"I believe you run giving the fire oxygen, which will make it die down."

"Are ya sure bout that Ulquiorra?" Gin asked.

"Positive."

Aizen ran and ran but the fire only got bigger.

"No you fuckin idiot!" Grimmjow shouted. "You stop, drop, and roll!"

"How do I do that?" Aizen sobbed. "Like this?" He started to drop it like it's hot.

"No idiot! Stop fuckin running, drop to the ground, and roll around!"

Aizen did so and Szayel grabbed a fire extinguisher and put out the flames. Aizen laid there, the flames finally out, and cried. He looked like a hotdog that was left on the grill way too long cuz your uncle wanted to see the last quarter of the football game. Yep the burns were that bad.

"Aizen ya look nasty," Gin wrinkled his nose.

"He stinks too," Yami added. Everyone stared at him. "What? What'd I say dawg?"

"It's your fault Aizen's like that! You're lucky he can't move or else you'd be dead right now!" Szayel whispered to Yami.

"Awwww. My bad I'm is so sorry Aizen-sama."

"Don't. Talk. To. Me."

"But I was just sayin sorry."

"I SAID DON'T TALK TO ME!!!" Aizen roared and more tears flowed out his eyes. "YOU DUMB BITCHES! DON'T JUST STAND THERE AND GAWK! HELP ME I'M BURNT TO THE CARPET!"

"HELP HIM!" Gin shouted at Yami.

"Y-yes suh!" Yami knelt down beside Aizen and started to peel him off the carpet.

"OMIGOD STOP IT! STOP THAT HURTS!!!"

"Sorry homesz!"

"What do we do?" Grimmjow asked.

"Maybe we should call an ambulance," Ulquiorra suggested.

"No! I am not going to the hospital! No, no, no! Not again!"

"But Aizen there ain't nothing else we can do. Please don't start dis again. Just go to the dang hospital," Gin pleaded.

"Fine. But if they try to do any surgery on me, I'm suing."

"That don't make a licka sense," Gin said.

"You don't make a lick of sense! Always talkin with your improper grammar and slang! Just shut up Gin for once! Gah!"

"Aizen you is mean!" Gin shouted but Aizen could care less.

"He does have a point."

"Shut up Tousen! And call the damn ambulance already Ulquiorra!"

"Yes sir." Ulquiorra picked up the phone and dialed 911. "Yes hello? Yes there is a…32 year old male who got burned in a fire. Yes. Yes. I don't actually know that. Yes. Alright thank you bye," Ulquiorra hung up the phone. It got quiet and everyone stared at him.

"Well?!" Gin shrieked.

"She said the ambulance is on the way."

"Who is 'she'?" Szayel asked.

"I don't know. It was the woman who picked up the phone."

"Then how do ya know she was tellin tha truth if ya don't know who she was?" Gin asked angrily.

"I don't know. I am sorry for my ignorance. I should've asked her who she was."

"You idiots she was the 911 operator. They're the people who get the police and stuff to your house," Grimmjow said matter-of-factly.

"How do you know so much about the human world, Grimmjow?"

"I read books, Ulquiorra."

"You know how to read?" Ulquiorra asked surprised. He was truly surprised. He didn't know someone with such a low IQ could learn how to read.

"Fuck off Ulquiorra. Quit tryna make me sound stupid!" Grimmjow growled.

"Omigod shutup everybody! I'm laying here in pain and- what's that noise?" Aizen tried to sit up but just ended up ripping some of his hair off. "OMIGOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

"Shhh!" Gin scolded. He listened closer and could hear a stange screaming sound. There was a loud banging on the door. Tousen cautiously walked to the door and slowly opened it.

"Hello?" Three men ran in with a stretcher and trampled Tousen.

"Where's the victim?" The largest man asked. He had dark skin and really long dreadlocks that were way neater and nicer then Tousen's.

"I'm right here dipshit!" Aizen yelled from the floor.

The dreadlock man made a face. "This is gonna be a toughy. Jonny go get the spatuler."

"Sir, yes, sir!" The thinnest man ran out to the ambulance and came back with a giant spatula. On the handle it had 'Property of Krusty Krab' carved on the side.

"Alright now you and Tommy scoop him up and I'll put him on the stretcher."

"Wait a second this is gonna hurt! I'm not a hamburger! You can't use a spatula to scrape me off!" Aizen yelled.

"We're gonna have to sir. This is procedure. It's all about saving your life here."

Aizen screwed his eyes shut and braced himself. "Alright go!"

The three men scraped Aizen off the floor and tossed him onto the stretcher. When he landed he screamed out in agony. They pushed him out and threw him as hard as they could into the back of the ambulance. Poor Aizen.

**Yea so it's not really a good story… Any ideas for what could happen next? I was thinking of making Orihime be like the intern nurse or something stupid like that.**


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